Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Weekly NSA tease:

Have you ever noticed that when the sun is high and the humidity is rising that it feels very........uncomfortable?

Almost as if you had a thermonuclear furnace bearing down on your back. Fires of damnation and all that.

You sweat as if you had a fever. Almost as if you had Anthrax.

And then, if you stay out in the sun too long, it is almost as if you had been poisoned...perhaps by Jihadi types....maybe with Ricin. I mean, it is like someone is waging a holy war, the heat is so intense.

Yeah, that is the way that I felt Sunday when I was splitting wood for 5 hours. The damned stuff wouldn't split...I mean, it would crack, but not fully split. I had to literally tear it apart at the end, all those fibers keeping the pieces together. I was wondering if I would need some TNT....Or maybe some Octol....Or perhaps some C4.  In the end I used an axe like a sword and chopped the final bits apart.

Eventually after many wedges, I was able to fission the 30 inch rounds so that I could begin to work on them with an axe. More work, each piece struggling like a warrior to stay together. I eventually won the holy war against the wood .

Leaving me with many pieces of wood which had to be stacked carefully, to prevent a collapse, much like the Twin Towers.

I would have used the hydraulic splitter, but it had a leak and I didn't want to poison any water supplies...I mean, the runoff will eventually find it's way into a reservoir, and I don't want that to happen, so I had to do things the manual way. I mean, someone would have to drink that water and I wouldn't want them to get sick or anything...The splitter is offline until I fix the hydraulic leak.

Of course the wood will be burned this winter to help keep me warm as I consider those folks in the mideast who Praise Allah and read the Koran and cry Allah Akbahr! and all that.

I do have a goodly stack of wood drying now, so I will be able to keep my house warm this winter.

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