A long year.
A year without my friend of 16 years.
A year without a dog in my life.
A year of reflections, of memories, of hurt and loss and grief and pain,
Of smiles at those memories, and yes, a tear or two.
A year that has taught me a bit, when I have taken the time to think, and learn.
A year of tending the tree that I planted over her grave.
I miss my dog.
I miss my friend.
I don't know if I will ever get another dog. I have 4 (nearly 4 1/2!) cats.
They love me, and I, them.
But they aren't a dog, and they love in a different way...
Someday.
Kipling had it right:
The Power of the Dog
by
Rudyard Kipling
There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie–
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart to a dog to tear.
When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find–it’s your own affair–
But … you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.
When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone–wherever it goes–for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.
We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we’ve kept ‘em, the more do we grieve:
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-term loan is as bad as a long–
So why in–Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
And yet.....
I wouldn't trade our time together for the world.
"The gift that a dog gives us is to see us as we would like to be seen, rather than as we are."
2 comments:
It took me 20 years to get over my old Jack. I know how you feel.
But I've had Wolfgang almost a year now. He's not Jack, but that's OK.
Humans domesticated dogs. We repay their service, if we're not assholes, by being good stewards of their lives. You were a good steward and you earned Schmoo's love. When the time comes, another dog is out there waiting for your good stewardship. Don't let that other dog down.
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