Virus

I haven't eaten anything solid (not permanently) for 3 days now...

An anorexic, anemic kitten could tie me up in knots with one paw.

I haven't done much at work but go in and wind the clock and let my staff run things like I taught 'em (and they are doing fine, they really don't need me...)

My ass hurts like I am the New Meat in the cellblock.

I feel as if I may never be able to make noise when I fart again. I could pass a housebrick without straining.

My brother says "norovirus".... might be right. Or something like it.

Hopefully this will pass soon.