Dood. So not funny

 I like my dentist. He and his staff are good people, easy to trust, always explain before performing a procedure, fun people with a good sense of humor. We get along, which is why I go back.

Usually.



So I am at the dentist's office. I go through the whole ringamarole, telling him why I am there, we do the exam, the x-ray, decide that we need to fill the cavity....

Shoot me up with Novocaine wait while it takes effect, etc.

So there I am in the chair, with a dental technician in attendance. Bite block in place, sucky hissy gurgling tube thingy keeping me from drowning in drool.

He enters the room, picks up the drill and mirror, leans in and says

"Where" "Are" "The" "Diamonds?"

Now understand, I am old enough to have seen Marathon Man in the theater when it first came out.

For just a moment, had I had a piece of coal in between my buttcheeks, I could have produced a diamond. Likely a really really good one.

As the moment passed, and he didn't drill into my front tooth, and I released my clench upon the bite block, I thought about killing my dentist slowly....

I was glad, however, that I had used the restroom just prior to entering his office.

I reached up, removed the bite block and said "Louie: Not. Funny".

He laughed. I laughed, still trying to figure if I would ever get my shorts out of my asshole.

The little 20 something dental assistant had No Idea what we were talking about.