So, due to vacations, I've been working in areas that I generally don't, covering those folks who are on vacation.
Now, I work with a lot of middle aged women, and they tend to ....chat....A lot. No group of 1+ women can work in silence, it seems. They discuss weather, finances, clothing, styles, other women, other women, other women, people in general, other women, relationships, etc.
So, while I am not much of the kind of person who likes to listen to other people's conversations, sometimes circumstances force that to happen. They never stopped talking and simply forgot that I was there.
Last week, I heard more than I ever cared to about several ladies. And I found out that one of them is ...unhappy...with the attention that her husband is paying her.
I found out that she has gone out of her way to make herself attractive to him, buying lots and lots of lingerie, and having her hair done and nails and all sorts of other woman style tricks to make him notice her and want her. (Sadly, she doesn't bother to realize that few of these will make her more attractive in HIS eyes, but only make her feel good about herself).
The other ladies were sympathetic and supportive. It is, of course, the fault of the man here.
No one pointed out that she has, in the past 5 years, gone from a shapely (if large) physique (rubenesque might be appropriate here), to a shape that more closely resembles a barrel with legs. She was never a slim woman as long as I have known her, but she at least had a shape. Hips, if large, and a waist. ....Now as I said, she no longer looks like that....she resembles a barrel with arms and legs. Has a huge jelly roll, and is, frankly, fat. I never cared much one way or the other as she is a co-worker, not anyone I could or would be interested in, but I felt sad that no one, not one of her female friends, would point out to her that she was, frankly, fat...if not the edge of obese. That to most men she wasn't attractive. None of her co-workers suggested that she lose say...,..30 or 50 lbs. (I certainly wasn't going to, that is for sure!)
Now I understand that in a perfect world this wouldn't matter, but to most men, it does. Physical attractiveness is linked to health and fertility, and that is just the way it is..... Ladies: Here is a hint....if you have no waist (or if your waist is thicker and bigger around than your hipbones), and if your belly sticks out farther than yer boobs, then you might want to think about a diet and/or exercise.
But the ladies all commiserated with her on how it was a shame that "He" wouldn't look at her anymore. How it was a shame that men just don't look at women as they age. And all that other folderol that fails to admit the truth: For most men, fat (really fat) isn't attractive.
You correctly observe that most men don't find fat attractive, but the same is true of women. It's probably a pretty safe bet that if her husband had let himself go to the same extent that she had, she would have been complaining to her co-workers about that as well.
ReplyDeleteIf you say anything about the weight you are just labeled a hater of ALL women. Just the way it is Women never want to hear a word about their weight it's is banished from the minds and not part of their reality until they lose it. When/if that happens it is time to show off and declare how great they are.
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